A Thirteen Week Funeral

For eight months of the year, I can spend hours at a time watching Channel 4, purely for the programmes I want to watch. For the other four, I can’t. But what is it that causes this? Thomas Mitchell explains how Channel 4 will soon turn from top-notch to top-botch in only a matter of weeks.

We experience it every summer, yet for the remainder of the year our lives are far too occupied to even reminisce on what we really got up to during our summer break. For many holidays abroad seem to be the most popular choice, or perhaps a holiday closer to home. Time to earn money, or simply just time to catch up on that well deserved rest, are some of many things that will happen during the summer of 2010.

But for a handful of people, their summers will consist of containment. Arguing, bitching, homesickness, team building, back stabbing, the list goes on. It’s only a matter of weeks before we hear these famous words once again from the mother of all reality TV shows. Yes that’s right; “Wave goodbye to your summer, because Big Brother is back!”

Love it or loath it, we sure won’t be able to escape it. With the press full of ‘sex-scandal’ stories and conversations filling the staff room about whose slept with who under the night vision camera’s, Big Brother will bless our lives and our media for one final time.

With Channel 4 dominated with Big Brother for the next four months, an eager fan will surely be glued from day 1 until day 100, watching the hundreds of spin-off shows, with the likes of Big Brother’s Little Brother, Big Brother’s Big Mouth and more recently Big Brother’s Big Brain fronted by Davina, which analyses every housemates behaviour in ways that make them out to be more like animals than actual human-beings, jam packing your tiny little brain into Big Brother information overload, before you’ve even had a chance to put down the remote control.

If that isn’t enough, there’s also the non stop live feed via the ‘red button’ which allows you to engage within the most entertaining aspects of the shows, with sounds of the wildlife and overhead planes accompanied with the on-screen graphic saying: “Audio is currently unavailable,” which seems to be the one of the more entertaining parts of Big Brother, rather than listening to the dull dialect of the housemates themselves.

Announced that the show was to be axed after this year’s series, Big Brother 2010 has promised to be the ‘best yet’. (just to point out they promise this every year, but it just doesn’t live up to expectations!) With speculation crawling the internet of what this final series might hold, the end of an era is upon us. The Big Brother franchise that was once TV gold in 2000 will leave our screens ten years later exhausted and limp.

As the house turns into a circus of performers rather than true representations of the British public one final time, Big Brother 11 will be sure to pull out all the stops for what is set to be yet another freak show which has been seen many times before. With the famous eye flashes starting to appear all over Channel 4, it is only a matter of days before the recognisable sounds of the Big Brother theme tune will be played in living rooms all across the UK.

The official Big Brother 11 advert: 


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